Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Seeing the big picture...open my eyes Lord

So I am sitting here in the early morning enjoying a cup of coffee and reading a devotional concerning the ways God teaches my soul through every trial when I see, out of the corner of my sleepy eye a tiny bunny. Through the patio window I see a little face gazing up at me with the biggest brown eyes. So filled with gentleness and dependency on nature to take care of it's every need! I grabbed my camera, and tip toed into the very wet grass perhaps to steal a picture of this gentle creature which blessed my heart ever so tenderly with it's presence.


A little while later I looked up from my reading to see a mother bunny looking in the very same corner of the window as if to say "yes we are out here basking in the loveliness of your garden." These rabbits my precious grandson spent hours chasing away! And yet they return...
I wonder sometimes if with every turn of the soil it was me God was teaching to grow; as well as to weed out the useless stones of doubt, and fear; replacing them with lingering hope which caused my heart to cling to him. And yet I returned, day after day month after month year after year to the place where rocks and stones failed to yield a harvest and had to be replaced by fresh soil and nutrients in order to grow!


Choosing to never give up on the place I consider to be heavenly. Could it be I am seeking to find a pocket of hope close to the heart of what God deems our final reward? Heaven on earth it is to me this place of toil and sweat filled with birdsong. Just yesterday we watched as a yellow finch foraged seeds from a simple yellow daisy. Provision found within this simple plot I call my garden.  As I face the certain move one day and wave a final goodbye to my home of my dreams, I hope someone else will tend to this tiny paradise and glean from it's lessons.


Somehow without the man I loved for over four decades it doesn't feel like home. Yet my heart reminds me of memories held with heartstrings of dependence on one another. Of vows said before our family and prayers to be parents; of children's laughter and hopes and dreams! His caring voice on the telephone when my heart felt like breaking in two. Gentle footsteps on the hospital corridors so many times when it was I who lay in pain and suffering so deep I could barely breathe...and yet his voice comforted me.


Oh, I am blessed! May I never forget the gracious truth of a life well lived. Oh Lord, today my prayer is for the love I have been given to pour over those who are in need of a kind word or perhaps a touch of knowing from a fellow traveler on this road of trials and confusion. For it is only through your love and forgiveness we can find hope. "Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is an offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." -Psalm 139: 23-24. I promise...it is worth the journey.

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