Living as a widow in a married world...learning to walk the path God has given me.

It seemed easy enough to fill my otherwise simple day with joyful anticipation of things to come. Somehow I could not make the connection between what was necessary and what was important. You see, this was the day I was to pack my car with treasures and take off for the sunset of better days. Only circumstances kept me from the trip I had planned. It was as if God held a mirror to my heart and typed in the words: be still. Willing or not it would have to be another day.


This new life of making decisions without the strong gentle voice of my dear husband to guide and care for me in the wake if uncertainty, haunted my day. September 12 is drawing near...the anniversary of his departure to heaven. I sat for a talk with my wise and loving Momma who assured me I was coping well in spite of missing him. So many details had to be taken care of before I could safely take a step forward without him. Being widowed in a married world is a conflict of life lessons.


You see, I was able to feel safe in the knowledge that my husband was always here for me...his strong arms of love provided me with an anchor of love to hold to. I was his and he was mine until the end of time, or so we thought. The one who loved me as a nineteen year old girl and walked me into the wiser years of life. I wonder if the treasure is not in the number of years, rather in the depth of the love we shared. Maybe one day I will understand the plan God has destined me to live from this day forward.


Jesus is my safe and loving guide each and every day. Even with the struggles of life I can truly say I am blessed beyond any dreams I had growing up. Life is a forward path in which we learn to love and treasure each gift we are given. Perhaps the truth is, others will learn to love more deeply as a result of the testimony of faith  we offer in each day the good lord chooses to afford us. My deepest hope is to share the incredible journey my father in heaven has chosen to fashion with love for me...in order that others may come to know the awesome love of God, so freely offered to each willing heart.


Sometimes the wisest of souls are the very ones we give birth to! Our children light up my heart with the music of love and they remind me to give thanks to my savior for giving me pieces of Dan's heart here on earth. Soon we will celebrate our grandson's birthday and recall how proud his grandpa was of the man he has become. Oh it is good to give thanks to the Lord for he alone knows our every need. Yes, be still and know that he is God. He is the giver of all things...let us rejoice!