The day started quietly...after plugging in the coffee pot I stumbled through the early morning moments I call precious. Be it ever so quiet, I love those (just woke up and the entire day is before me) kind of moments. There is a delightful sense of anticipation within my heart and a desire to make good use of the time set aside for my morning devotions. Safe and waiting on my coffee table are my bible and devotional books along side my prayer journal. A pencil and highlighter and oh yes, the ever present dictionary which keeps me from having to pretend I can actually spell while composing my blog.
Years ago I could never have guessed I would find myself in the midst of a huge life change called widowhood. Prayer has become the lifeline to which I cling! Day after day, week after week my time spent in God's precious word fuels my ever growing desire to know my heavenly father more. This God who hung the stars and caused ocean to roar, pauses to meet with me...his ever changing creation. I wonder sometimes if it is possible in this earthly lifetime to comprehend the vastness of His love? Certainly the opportunities to grow in faith are endless. Maybe the desire meet with him is my souls quest for true peace. That which writers claim passes all understanding!
In conversation recently I heard a friend say they would not know how to keep going in life were it not for their faith. My heart agrees in harmony with this truth. My husband was always willing to listen to my ponderings on hope and dreams, and to urge me on when in my humanness I felt ill equipped to maneuver this stage called life. The trials of an ever changing set of circumstances caused me to feel defeated and tired of the endless challenges ahead. It was easy to feel discouraged and tired. "Everything will be just fine, you wait and see. God has never let you down before" he would say and hug me ever so tightly in his gentle way.
Dan led my heart to trust and learn to believe in the goodness of tomorrow. He wanted to live so badly that he was willing to do most any treatment which offered him hope. I asked him many times if he ever felt like giving up the fight to which he replied the same response...as long as there was hope for a cure or even the slightest chance he might live longer he would find it within himself to keep going. What a testament to the power of the human spirit to seek hope in the midst of unthinkable pain and suffering. And yet he did it for love.
There are many seasons in which we find ourselves in need of hope. Even in the midst of deep pain and heartache, there is a tiny voice within telling us to keep in mind the open door which leads to better days to come. God knows our deepest fears and challenges. He is not surprised when we cling to hope with all the power within us. Many times the heart finds rest within the pillow of his almighty grace. 'Where do I go, oh where do I go? Needing a comfort for my soul? Needing a friend who's with me to the end. Where do I go but to the Lord!' The author and finisher of our faith. Come Lord Jesus...the best is yet to be.
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